Category Archives: Decision-making

Satan’s favorite babysitter

under-my-umbrellaSelf-pity is Satan’s favorite babysitter. At least that’s what my pastor used to say when I was growing up, and now that I’m a grown man with a few years of experience under my belt I can conclusively say that he was right.

Self-pity—with its accompanying self-loathing and victim mentality—has NEVER helped me get ahead in life.

I have certainly been filled with self-pity before, and I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about how unfairly and unjustly I was being treated. And I was right—I was being treated unfairly, and it was wrong. However, it still didn’t help me. Whenever I’ve made self-pity my friend, it has only pulled me down deeper into anger, defeat, and despair.

I think my pastor called self-pity “Satan’s babysitter” because once we start indulging in it we take ourselves out of commission and Satan can simply walk away. We don’t need any external spiritual warfare to oppress our beleaguered minds; we do a fine job of it on our own. Our own bitter rumination locks us into a state of anxious inactivity.

You and I are too big for babysitters, especially destructive ones like self-pity. It is true that sometimes we are wronged, and the wounds from those wrongs can really hurt. In some ways we probably have a legitimate right to quit the fight and hunker down for a good pouting session. Indeed, nearly every one of God’s preachers and prophets had their share of pouty moments. However, once we’ve cried, vented, pouted, and complained we need to get back up. We need to take the keys away from our babysitter, pick up our battered shield and head back to our post.

God’s compassion and gentleness will heal us and make us great, but our self-pity never can. It will only lock us into a negative, ineffective state. Let’s do whatever it takes to shake ourselves free and carry on in what the Apostle Paul called “the good fight” (2 Timothy 4:7).

The Next Right Thing

multidirectional signsWhat am I supposed to do with my life?

Which path should I take, left or right?

Is this the right time to make a move, or should I wait a little bit longer?

Should I follow this counsel or that opinion?

And most importantly, how long is it all going to take?

Sometimes questions like these can make us crazy. We can be so concerned with knowing exactly what the next steps are for our lives that we become obsessed. We fret and stress and live under a canopy of frustration, fear, and anxiety. We fail to enjoy the present moment because we’re so desperate to get into a future moment, and ultimately, we miss what we are supposed to learn and receive today. What we don’t even realize is that today’s obsession with tomorrow can actually disqualify us for tomorrow.

There is a better way.  Sometimes rather than obsessing over the ultimate answer or our final path, we need to simply do the next right thing.

Quite often, if you and I will simply do the next right thing, our larger path will become clear. If we do the next right thing, we will be ready for the next right thing after that. Then if we do the next right thing after that one, we will be ready for the next one that appears. If we were to consistently do this for a lifetime, several things would happen. We would live really good lives, some really great things would happen, and we would always be prepared when our new seasons arrived.

This is not a diminishing of vision. Nor is it an appeal to stop dreaming. Not at all! We need a vision. It is imperative that we dream. However, it is the maximization of today’s opportunities that qualifies us for the vision that is coming tomorrow.

What does it mean to be ‘wise as serpents’?

snakeBe wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” What do these words from Jesus mean? What does it mean to be as wise as a serpent? Are serpents cunning? Are they crafty? In what ways are serpents wise?

And while we’re at it, were there specific kinds of serpents that Jesus was referencing? Was He talking about snakes in general, or did He have a particular serpent in mind? Was He pointing back to the craftiness of the serpent in the Garden when it beguiled Adam and Eve?

I doubt it. The archenemy of humanity hardly seems like a potent role model for Christ’s followers.

Dallas Willard suggested something different. He proposed that the wisdom of the serpent lies in its timing. Although snakes can strike and bite from any position, the true accuracy and potency of their attack diminishes if they are uncoiled. It is when a snake is coiled and poised for assault that its accuracy and striking potential is fiercest.

Perhaps that’s some of what Jesus had in mind. Perhaps He was warning us about the damage that can be done when we get our sense of timing out of sync. I’ve been both premature and late in my timing too many times to count, and that faulty timing has repeatedly hurt me. It’s caused me to either mess up or miss potential opportunities, and it’s created messes and regrets that I would not have had to deal with if I had simply been more careful with my timing.

Timing is everything. A timely action or a word in season can make all the difference in our lives and relationships. Perhaps a good prayer for us today would be to ask God for a greater dose of true serpentine wisdom.

Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)

Note to Self

note to selfDear Self, I’m not sure what you are thinking or how you are feeling right now, but in case you’re not doing too well, I wanted to remind you of some things. Emotions come and go; truth remains. Unfortunately, emotions often feel more powerful than truth, and sometimes we can judge the entire external universe based on minor, internal mood swings. I’d like to save you from that, and remind you of some truth.

As I write to you (to me) I am in a good place. My thinking is clear and I can sense God’s life and presence around me and in me. I would qualify for Pastor Wayne Cordeiro’s description, “clear-headed and close to God” (remember, he always urges people to only make their biggest decisions when they are clear-headed and close to God). So I think I’m in a good spot to pep talk you and prop you up. Granted, someone could accuse me of doing the very thing I am warning you against, namely attributing a positive mood to ultimate reality. However, that’s not the case.

It is true that shallow emotional upswings do not necessarily correspond to God’s truth anymore than negative, gloomy ones do. We humans are so easily swayed by circumstantial highs and lows, but God’s life is very different from that. Some of King David’s mightiest psalms—where he boasts of an ability to “run through a troop” or “leap over a wall”—were written at the bottom of some very nasty life seasons.

There is a hope and peace and presence that can transcend whatever we are experiencing, and when we touch that presence everything changes even if nothing changes. Please remember that last phrase. Things don’t need to change for YOU to change. Circumstances don’t need to improve for you to step more fully into the life and strength of God’s Spirit.

So, dear self, man up. Don’t quit. Don’t pout. Hold steady. Lean into God. Like David said, you too will live to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

I want a rule; God wants obedience

breaking rulesHow many drinks can I have? One? Two? More? Or none at all?

Can I watch certain kinds of R-rated movies? Like the ones that are only rated R for violence? Or maybe just language? Or other stuff too as long as it isn’t too bad?

What are my rules for what is and is not acceptable?

Some people don’t care about these kinds of questions—they aren’t “rule people” and they are happy to make these decisions on the fly. Others, however, feel more comfortable with clearly defined boundaries, and they appreciate the comfort and security of always knowing exactly what they should and shouldn’t do.

Personally, I am a rule person and I prefer to know exactly what my boundaries are. I like the security of knowing precisely when I am and am not on the right path, and sometimes the Bible caters to personalities like mine. Sometimes the Scriptures clearly highlight the paths that God wants us to walk, and there’s nothing left for us to do but start walking. There are other times though when the Bible isn’t quite as clear. It doesn’t give us rules to follow; it gives us principles to apply.

Sometimes I want a law to govern me, but God wants something very different. He wants my mature obedience. Sometimes simple rule keeping can be a lesser path than actually following the Holy Spirit’s leading.

Remember, being led by the Spirit is a key mark of mature sonship and daughterhood (Romans 8:14), and often that leading occurs in settings where the rules aren’t perfectly clear. Paul devoted entire chapters of his writings to matters of conscience, coaching us for those times when singular rules can’t fully dictate correct behavior.

We live in a time in history when we must know God’s laws, understand the principles that drive them, and be sensitized to the Holy Spirit’s leading. When Scripture is clear we follow it clearly. When it is unclear–or open to multiple interpretations–we follow its principles. And when multiple paths are legitimate options, we trust the Spirit’s leading in our conscience.

Do you know when to act quickly?

timeforaction“Abigail acted quickly…” (1 Samuel 25:18). Do you? Do you act quickly when it’s time for quick action, or are you prone to prolonged speculation or endless second-guessing?

Sometimes it is tough to get the timing of our actions right. Sometimes we act too quickly, and then live with the fallout and regret of our rash actions. At other times though we think and ponder and strategize until our opportunity for positive action has effectively moved on. I think there is an art to knowing when to wait and when to move.

Here are a few suggestions for how to learn that art.

  1. When in doubt, don’t. If you aren’t sure if the timing is right, take a little longer to think, pray, and pursue wise counsel. If you doubt the timing of your actions, you might never be confident that you actually moved when you should have. The ensuing insecurity can haunt you for a long time afterwards.
  2. When peace is absent, don’t. If you don’t possess an honest, internal peace that the decision you are about to make is the right one, then slow things down. Before you ever move forward with significant decisions, make sure that both faith and peace are guiding you.
  3. When there is more to be learned, don’t. Don’t get caught in the trap of doing endless research before taking decisive action; however, make sure you do enough. If you haven’t reasonably considered all of the ramifications of your decision, take a bit longer to get better informed.
  4. When the time is right, move. Once you’ve done your research, and you’re finally possessed with peace, and you believe God is approving of your decision, then it’s time to move, and move quickly.

Something happened in 1 Samuel 25:18 that caused David to lose his mind and plan to commit murder. Fortunately, Abigail stopped him. She saw the shrinking opportunity for intervention, she knew what needed to be done, and—thankfully for David and his legacy—she acted quickly. When it’s time for us to act quickly, let’s be like Abigail, and let’s do the same.

Retracting our ‘nevers’

high diveDo you get annoyed when missionaries say, “I told God I would never go to Africa, and sure enough that’s where He sent me”? Or when ministers exhort us to, “Never say ‘never’ to God because as soon as you say ‘never’ that’s exactly what He will make you do”?

I don’t love those kinds of statements because they give God a bad rap. They make it sound like God spends His time looking for ways to disappoint our deepest desires. They ignore verses like Psalm 37:4 that say, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

That’s a profound verse. God doesn’t just give desired outcomes; He gives the desire itself. If you are delighting yourself in Him, and you have absolutely no desire to do a certain ministry, it is likely that He isn’t leading you to do it. If He wants you to do it He’ll have to give you the desire first.

So let’s stop being afraid that if we go all in with this life of discipleship that God will make us do all of the stuff that we don’t want to do. He is not going to send you to some remote assignment just to spite you.

However…once we defend God a bit and push back against the inaccurate statements from certain teachers and preachers we DO need to build a figurative altar and sacrifice our ‘nevers’ on it.

Truly submitted prayers say, “Lord, send me where I’m needed most” not “Lord, send me where I’ll get the best tan…or where I’ll see the best scenery…or make the most money.”

Consider Oswald Chambers’ words from the devotional, My Utmost For His Highest: “Before we will serve, we stop to ponder our personal and financial concerns: ‘what if God wants me to go over there? And what about my salary? What is the climate like there? Who will take care of me? A person must consider all these things.’ All this is an indication that we have reservations about serving God.”

God can be trusted completely. So let’s retract our ‘nevers’ and dive into the deep end of our destinies.