I’ve noticed something about my personality lately. I’m getting a little quieter and a little more boring. At other times in my life this realization would have garnered some consternation and some possible insecurity. I might have tried to push back or compensate in some different ways.
But not this time. This time it’s different. It’s by design.
Over the past few months I’ve been trying to do a much better job of guarding my speech. I can relate to the words of Arsenius (Roman educator turned monk) who said, “I have often repented of having spoken, but never of having remained silent.”
In the past my humor or engaging conversations sometimes came with a price. I pushed the lines of sarcasm, or I said things that I regretted afterwards. I hate that feeling. I hate the cringing regret of saying too much, or speaking out of turn, or being mildly critical in my humor.
So I’m working on it. I’m biting my tongue. I’m passing up some really good jokes. Sometimes I feel awkwardly quiet, but I don’t feel regret.
I want my speech to be life giving. I want to heal and empower and speak to the destiny and potential of the people around me.
Some day I’ll be funny again. 🙂 But the jokes will never sting other people or cross lines of dignity or honor.
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6)